


Stay safe, don't hurt yourself again

by Kira7



Series: Father & Mother [1]
Category: Bright Young Things, Vile Bodies - Evelyn Waugh
Genre: At a certain point Ginger says something that could be, Blood and Violence, Both of them deserve so much love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hair Brushing, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hugs, In reality he only wants Miles to be safe, Internalized Homophobia, Live in the same house, Living Together, M/M, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Canon, Post-World War II, Pre-Relationship, Touch-Starved, Understanding to be in love, Unresolved Emotional Tension, quarrel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:53:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23478031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kira7/pseuds/Kira7
Summary: "We fell into a different kind of love. One that was sturdier, safer, and more like home than anything I'd ever experienced."(Elaine Welteroth)In Paris, Miles decides to go to a party, but Ginger is upset with how the other man dressed...
Relationships: Ginger Littlejohn/Miles Maitland
Series: Father & Mother [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681372
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Stay safe, don't hurt yourself again

"You don't want to go out like that, do you?"  
"Why shouldn't I, am I not handsome?," he asked giggly.  
Miles looked in the mirror, his reflected image was about a provocative man, with perfectly curly hair, eyes covered with a light layer of eyeshadow and lips skillfully highlighted by a red lipstick, yes, he was simply divine, a sinful sweet.  
"You can't go out like this, Miles."  
"You know, sometimes you're so killjoy, dear Ginger. I just want to get some fresh air. A walk, won't you go with me?"  
Ginger nodded a negative answer while he was observing Miles, he was too flashy, not that he didn't mind, it wouldn't be Miles otherwise, but the Maitland's second son had told him the reason why he must have escaped from London, with that arrest warrant. He wasn't ugly with all those paints women used for their faces, indeed, to be a man, Miles with makeup, and that silk blue shirt, was rather... Acceptable. But there could be someone out there who would have arrested him, or beaten, even if they were in Paris, even if the French seemed less loyal to duty than the British.  
"Mh, it will be terribly boring without you, darling," Miles caressed Ginger's cheek. "There is certainly a way to make you change your mind. I only need to find it,"  
The skin where Miles was touching started to burn, according to Ginger, and this terrified him, so that's why he abruptly ducked from Miles' hand and started talking, "I say no, and you neither can go out like that, damn it."  
"What's bothering you about the way I'm dressed? I should say it is--"  
"You look like a pansy, Miles!," Ginger interrupted him and the light in Miles' eyes disappeared, leaving only a mask of his smile, but Ginger paid no attention to the change in atmosphere and continued to speak, "Do you want to repeat the experience you had in London? I mean, if you go around tanned like this, it's normal for some people to take advantage of you and hurt you. They published your dirty letters, and you risked being arrested, damn it. What else do you want to try? Being beaten like a stray dog? Because, I mean, that's what you're saying going around like this, look at me I'm a pansy and you can do to me whate--"  
He never finished the sentence, even though they both knew how it would end, because the sound of a slap made Ginger silent, who found himself looking at the portion of the floor on his right.  
Miles' breathing was muffled, his hand was aching from the force he had used to slap Ginger, and his eyes trembled with anger and pain.  
"If that's what you think of me," his voice was cold, calm and sharp. "Then you can go away."  
Ginger didn't answer, he didn't even look at the door when it was slammed, making it clear that Miles went out, without looking back, wearing what he had decided. Captain Littlejohn sat on the sofa, taking several breaths, covering the face with his hands. Where had he gone wrong? He had told Miles those things for his own sake, why had Miles reacted that way?  
Rather than seeing him surrounded by people who said nice things to him and hurt him behind, Ginger preferred Miles be surrounded with people who didn't hurt him. Heck, he still remembered the tears the other man had shed in silence as he remembered how that bastard had sold his letters to newspapers, he remembered perfectly well that false smile and the way he said, " _Don't worry, dear, it's water under the bridge._ "  
He didn't, he absolutely didn't want Miles to find himself in that situation again, in London he had already suffered, he was basically a good chap, he didn't deserve such treatment, people talk, and badly, it was necessary not to encourage them to talk more and more. So what was wrong?

After some time spent asking questions, Ginger got up from the sofa, worried that Miles hadn't yet returned home, maybe he decided to spend the night in the house of some of his acquaintances, and Ginger didn't like it, but however the man decided to find Miles, he had a strange feeling that didn't make him feel comfortable. Ginger left the house, turned on the car, when a group of men, in an alley, attracted the red-haired man's attention.  
Ginger parked and got out, feeling his heartbeat speed up, while the laughter of those boys dominated a "Do you like being pounded, eh, fag?!," in a strong French accent.  
This made Ginger immobilize, then he ran in their direction, and a figure on the ground with black hair and a blue shirt made he panicked, he rushed to that group. Ginger grabbed a man by the shoulders to push him away and punched him in the face; the other three stopped beating Miles, and two of them attacked Ginger who, thanks to military service in Ceylon, managed them without problems.  
"Are you also a fag like that?"  
"Go away, before I change my mind."  
The four men went away, and finally Ginger reached Miles, afraid to touch him.  
"Hey, Miles," he tried to call him. "They're gone. It's all right now."  
But Miles didn't answer.  
"Miles?," he knelt and pulled Miles up, but his body didn't move, his head was tilted back, and Ginger moved the curls attached to his face.  
"Hey Miles, we can go home now. Those beasts have run away, open your eyes."  
Miles didn't open his eyes.  
"Miles? Miles, wake up, damn it!," he shook him, but didn't receive an answer, and soon Ginger noticed a pool of blood on the ground.  
"Miles! Open your eyes! Miles! We-- We have to go, at our house, together, please Miles!"  
He took the man next to him, and the hand that touched the back of Miles' head was stained with his blood, and sent Ginger into crisis.  
"Miles? Miles! Miles! Please answer me! Don't leave me alone, you-- I'd like to look into your eyes, I want to be with you, please wake up, damn it, Miles! Miles!"

"MILES!"  
Ginger opened his eyes and found himself sitting on the sofa, it was night, he looked around, sweaty, with shortness of breath; when he remembered his nightmare, he immediately rushed out of the house, afraid, he had to find Miles, he was in danger, he was in grave danger! However, Ginger stopped a few meters after leaving the house, calling Miles' name several times, his eyes wide, frightened, unable to remain calm and think straight.  
The captain tugged his hair, biting his lips, falling to the ground in despair, the vision of Miles helpless was well imprinted in his mind, he didn't hear a car stop and a male greeting cheerful some French.  
A few steps later, he heard someone called him. "Ginger?"  
The man stopped his breath and looked above, seeing Miles in that blue shirt, it seemed he was fine, a little surprised but fine.  
"What are you doing here?," he asked, taking a step to help Ginger, but he remembered something and stopped. "Didn't you have to go away?"  
Ginger got to his feet, looked at him as if he had seen a ghost, and suddenly hugged Miles, taking his breath away.  
After that horrible quarrel in which he had been hurt by Ginger's words, Miles expected to find the house totally empty, he had already mentally prepared to spend a sleepless night, instead of finding Ginger there on the street, the embrace he was giving, he took Miles off guard.  
Ginger began to observe accurately Miles' head, checking if there was no blood, making the other man worry.  
"What are you doing?"  
Miles' blue eyes noticed how the brown ones were concentrated, afraid. "If you don't say what happened, I--"  
"Thank God nobody hurted you," Ginger whispered and leaned his head on Miles' shoulder, trying to maintain a regular breathing.  
On the other hand, the second-born Maitland tried to remember why he was angry with Ginger, but all those insults were melt by a single sentence like snow in the sun, the previously heavy heart ached now for how fast it was beating, the tears that he would have before shed in anger and pain he would now shed them because Ginger was a stupid beast, and himself was even more stupid because he had forgiven this man as soon as he saw Ginger kneeling on the road, with his hands in his hair, stupid, stupid, stupid.  
"It would--" his voice was stuck in his throat, so Miles tried to swallow, and started talking again. "It would be better to go home now, don't you think it too?"  
With great difficulty, Ginger loosened his embrace, it was nice not to be turned away or mocked for these demonstrations of affection, and he found particularly pleasant and relaxing to interlace his fingers in Miles' black hair, so much so that his mind formulated the mad thought of being able to spend a whole life like this, without needing anything else; and the aforementioned man didn't think otherwise, he would have relived all his horrible experiences, except Agatha's car accident, if this was the final prize.  
Longed for so much to drive a man mad, loved so much to accept some annoying thorns if it was worth picking the rose.  
"Didn't you want me to go away?"  
Miles opened his eyes, he didn't notice that he had closed them, and looked back at Ginger who was staring at him intently, knowing that he had made a mistake at some point, and ready to receive any sentence he had inflicted on him, as a perfect captain.  
"Do you seriously think I deserve all the bad I got just because I'm a queer?," he asked, though he was convinced he already knew the answer.  
And Ginger would have liked to say no, Miles deserved nothing of everything that had happened to him, that a generous, cheerful, full of life soul like his deserved someone capable of loving him, of being close to him, and of protecting him if necessary; he simply denied with a gesture of his head. Miles smiled, the light inside his eyes started to shine again.  
"I wasn't serious either," he revealed with a laugh that tasted of complicity, of understanding, it tasted of love. "Shall we go, darling?"

Once the front door was closed behind them, Ginger and Miles found themselves in an almost embarrassing situation, both eager to establish again that warm and welcoming atmosphere, both afraid of not being able to manage it.  
Miles was the first to break the silence, looking sideways at the other man. "I think I'll go to the bathroom. The makeup is ruining my eyes."  
Since when did he have to justify where he was going?  
"Yes sure, go."  
And since when did Ginger give permission?  
The second-born Maitland walked away wishing him goodnight, when Ginger took a step towards him and called him.  
"Miles."  
The tone of his voice came out more alarmed than he imagined.  
Miles turned immediately, as if waiting for nothing more than to be stopped to pick up where they left off.  
"Yes dear?"  
_Please say it_ , he seemed to pray with his eyes.  
On the contrary, Ginger had no idea what to say, much less knew exactly why he had called Miles, he only felt the need to do it, and suddenly his hands itched from the desire to touch those black curls one other time. He closed them in two fists, so as to cushion the need, and searched for the words to say, simply finding a "I wanted to wish you a good sleep."  
"Of course," Miles smiled cordially, "Have sweet dreams you too."  
Ginger nodded and headed into his bedroom, accidentally brushing Miles' hand with his own, causing a blush to both.  
Neither of them managed to fall asleep that night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ^^
> 
> If you want to scream with me, you can find me on [ **Tumblr** ](https://kira-7.tumblr.com) or [ **Twitter** ](https://mobile.twitter.com/kira7_13) 😄


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